1. |
Hail to Helium
04:44
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Everyone is doing it
Just give it a try (okay)
You know you can trust me
I would never lie (I trust you)
Do you wanna sound like Alvin?
How bout Simon or Theodore? (hell yea)
Once you take that first rip
It’ll be Chipmunks galore (let's get high)
Without it… There is no sun
Without it…. There is no fun
Hail to Helium!
Hail to Helium!
V2
First you'll take a big rip
Then you'll hold it in *loud inward breath*
Just wait a second
And let the fun begin (it's cumming)
You feelin’ light headed?
That's the lack of oxygen (O2!)
Say something funny!
And see the room fill with grins! (poopy pants)
Without it… There is no sun
Without it…. There is no fun
Hail to Helium!
Hail to Helium!
The most noble of gases
Laughing off your asses
The most noble of gases
With the lowest boiling point!
Of all elements!
It will make you riiiiise (higher and higher!)
Your voice in disguise
No viscosity No flow
Now you knooooooowwww
Hail to Helium
Hail to Helium
V3
Get some at the carnival
Or a birthday party (happy birthday!)
If you take it straight from the tank
You ain't a smarty (duhhhh)
This stuff will rise you above
This stuff will make you fun!! (giggles)
This stuff will extend your life
Until your life is done (funeral!)
Without it….there is no sun
Without it….there is no fun
Hail the Helium!
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2. |
Evolution Created God
03:23
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If it all started with Adam and Eve
Then, who fucked their kids?
My forehead is so wet
And not because of sweat
Jesus came inside of me
Sin all ways with no regret
No! Fuck the church!
Save your money and buy our merch
Cash! Or venmo please
Way better than being on your knees
Don’t you dare complain when the priest brings the pain
Just go on livin’ and they say you’ll be forgiven
Because evolution created god
Evolution created god
Verse of silence for quiet reflection
Religion does more harm than good
So go and suck each other’s wood
Books of lies glued to your eyes
I worship only between the thighs
No! Fuck the church!
Save your money and buy our merch
Cash! Or venmo please
Way better than being on your knees
Don’t you dare complain when the priests bring the pain
Just go on livin’ and they say you’ll be forgiven
Because evolution created god
Evolution created god
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3. |
Bottom of an Endless Pit
05:04
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I woke up naked in a dark, filthy room
Although it was smelly, there was plenty of womb
I scrambled for my phone when I heard my ringtone
The screen lit up and I remembered that bone
I thought my dick would fit
But I got sucked into the pit
Her pussy was so wide
She could hold the Kentucky Derby inside
Chorus
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
I've hiked 40 years to find her clit
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
Forced to lick forever
And she's smelly
Like yeast
Who created this magical beast?
She told me she was 50, but I had just turned 4
She said, "Good enough, cuz I'm a giant whore"
I fell down the hole, awaiting my fate
The guard said son "You'll lick til your 88"
I plan my great escape
Through the butthole gate
Butt ass it turns out….
That plan was filled with shit
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
I've hiked 40 days to find her clit
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
Forced to lick forever
I accept my pleasuring fate
I'll lick til I'm 88
When you get used to the taste
A 4 year old will tell ya "It's even better than paste"
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
I've hiked 40 days to find her clit
We're at the bottom of an endless pit
Forced to lick forever
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4. |
Kickin' ASS
03:54
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Kickin’ ass
Kickin’ ass inside
Kickin’ ass on grass
Doing some ass kicking?
Nah I’d rather just kick ass
Kickin’ ass kicks ass
And fate chose me
Born to kick ass
Until the end of history
(5-6-7-8, OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
(OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
In France, kicking ass!
In your pants, kicking ass!
My foot in my boot
Then my boot in all ass
Knock knock who’s there?
It’s me kickin’ ass
Me kickin’ ass who?
It’s me kickin’ ass kickin’ ass
(OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
(OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
Kickin’ ass up high
Kickin’ ass down low
I said I kick ass
On my kickin’ ass show
Will it ever end?
Will it ever pass?
Not for me, I rule
So I’ll keep kickin’ assssssss
(OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
(OOH!)
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
I scare myself I kick so much ass
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
We scare ourselves, we kick so much ass
Nothin kicks ass like kickin’ ass
We scare ourselves,
We kick so much
We kick so much
We kick so much
Asssssss!
ASSSSSS!
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5. |
Ooey Gooey
03:52
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Cute little puppies
Teeny tiny ruff ruff
Itty bitty kitties
I just can’t get enough
Movies rated G
And merry go rounds
Yummy cotton candy
I could eat 20 pounds
Unicorn rainbow smiles
And frolicking in the sun
Our hearts are filled with joy
And our lives are filled with fun
(Warm) and fuzzy
(Soft) and chewy
Happy sunny lovely
I’m feeling ooey gooey! (x2)
Crazy wazy joy
And big ol bear hugs
Icy rootbeer floats
In overflowing mugs
Soft, cuddly, and warm
Silky smooth and yummy
Goody goody gumdrops
Fillin’ up my tummy
(Warm) and fuzzy
(Soft) and chewy
Happy sunny lovely
I’m feeling ooey gooey! (x2)
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6. |
God is Gonna Kill Us All
02:47
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And God said, let there be
Pedophiles and disease
Genital warts and meaty fleas
Canker sores and wet ass cheese
Thanks god for the goodies!
For big bombs, but also hoodies
Thanks god for viagra
Now I’m cumming like Niagra
Explosive diarrhea
and drippy gonorrhea
We’re all gonna fall
Push your mind through the wall
God is gonna kill us all
And God said let there be
Wild beastiality
Lions, tigers, bears oh my
Vaginal discharge in your eye
Listen close and you’ll see
God hates you and God hates me
These books are just the word of man
So go live your life while you can
The more I think
The more I see
Fear-based insanity
Push your mind through the wall
God is gonna kill us all
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7. |
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I'm sitting on flat earth
Refusing all vaccines
I'll laugh my life away
‘Til I have rabies in my spleen
I’ll run out of laughs when you run out of stupid
Won't signal any turns
Siri, which way to the burn?
Why these bums flashing their brights?
Don't they know my tesla is tight?
I’ll run out of laughs when you run out of stupid
Only two things are infinite
The universe and human stupidity
But I’m not so sure
About the universe
I’ll run out of laughs when you run out of stupid
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8. |
Alone
04:31
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The neverending aches
Can’t even reach the door
How long will it last?
I can’t take it anymore
Nobody knows my pain
Never perceived before
My stomach turning inside out
Wendy’s bags on the floor
I’m sweating
I’m cramping
and I’m all alone
It seems it will never end
Won’t even say goodbye to friends
Will this be my demise?
I hope hell has those chilli fries
Nobody knows my pain
Never perceived before
My stomach turning inside out
Del Taco bags on the floor
I’m sweating
I’m cramping
and I’m all alone
This agony is hell
What the fuck is that smell?
Chili, tendies, taco bell
This magic fart broke the spell
I'm not suicidal now all because I have farted
Humanity's united now all because I have farted
… All because, I faaarted
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9. |
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16 items in a 15 line
Speed limit in the left lane, just taking my time
Keep you on the phone until your dinner gets cold
Put you in a nursing home before you get old
I’m pretty evil
I’m disgusting
I’m fucking gorgeous
The devil loves me
I don’t believe in the devil
But the devil believes in me
Leave no TP in the roll
Take a massive shit and leave it in the bowl
Scratchin’ up my nuts, then shaking your hand
Make you buy a ticket to see our stupid band
I’m pretty evil
I’m disgusting
I’m fucking gorgeous
The devil loves me
I don’t believe in the devil
But the devil believes in me
665.9 with a little line
Throwing roundhouse kicks up in the mosh pit
Talking in your face with breath that smells like shit
I’ll drink half your last beer, then throw the rest away
And come back and do it the very next day
I’m pretty evil
I’m disgusting
I’m fucking gorgeous
The devil loves me
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10. |
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I’ve got a problem
It’s difficult to discuss
Most people shun me
Or storm off in a huff
Ever since my birth
A blessing or a curse
Forced to walk the earth
With 17 feet of girth (oh my god)
Woe, woe is me
One more “Excuse me…”
It’s just that you see
That you are standing….
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You are standing (on my foreskin)
You are standing (my nutsack too)
I’ve wrapped him around my waist
Coiled him around my leg
Thrown him over my shoulder
Had a wagon, but I sold her
Whenever I get aroused
NASA makes me some calls
Disaster relief to the city where it falls (Timber!)
Woe, woe is me
One more “Excuse me…”
It’s just that you see
That you are standing….
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You are standing (on my foreskin)
You are standing (my fiveskin too)
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You’re standing on my penis
You are standing (on my sixskin)
You are standing (do I hear seven?!)
Standing on my
Standing on my
Standing on my
Standing on my
Standing on my penis!
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honeybunches of DEATH Denver, Colorado
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